I never thought I would be a girl that would feel comfortable wearing skinny jeans. Even in this picture, my size 16 self is feeling on the verge of feeling sexy/confident vs. terrified/self-conscious.
All my life I’ve told myself to not be the girl that people say, “Oh, that’s the fat one,” or “she’d be so pretty if she lost weight.” I let myself just say I’m the fat friend and we’re all going to die at some point so I might as well just die eating the things that I want.
I had no self-control when I was talking like that. Self-denial, can be a killer ladies and gentlemen. And I was in over my head, big time. Even in this picture, I had to actively fight off the miniature sized version of me sitting on my shoulder saying, “you know, everyone is going to think that the fat girl should of really looked in the mirror before she left her house this morning. Who does she think she is wearing those skinny jeans?”
But, then the weirdest thing happened. I punched that little negative bitch off my shoulder and strutted my stuff to class.
AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. I was in my Farsi class (Persian language) and my professor, who is practically a grandmother figure to me, was talking and all of sudden she just stops, looks at me, and says, “Arrianna, you are just so beautiful. Sometimes I just have to pinch myself to bring me back after looking at you.”
i just about died and went to heaven. It was one of the nicest things I have EVER heard from someone. I always want to deny that I’m pretty or good-looking, or brush it off thinking that they probably just feel sorry for me. But that kind of random declaration isn’t the first time that’s happened. It’s happened to me in a doctor’s office, schools, parties, get-togethers……
Don’t mistake what I’m doing here as saying, “All ya’ll better realize that I’m hot shit!” cuz that’s not my intention. My intention is to tell ALL of you, that you are GORGEOUS. And I guarantee you….if you really think about it, these exact kind of situations have happened in your life too. Most of the times though, we have our heads so far up our own butts in self-pity and denial that we just don’t listen or understand.
Well stop doing that!
You are so incredibly amazing and insanely beautiful. You’re going to tell me, “But, Arri, I’ve had people call me horrible names.”
Well me too! I had a random ass guy on facebook from my high school, a couple years ago telling me that I was one of the fattest girls in school and asked me “How it felt to be so fat and that I should just go and die.” Ya, that was pretty stinkin’ mean. And it shook me up, but what the hell good was it going to do to feel down? He didn’t friken know me, and obviously he is a pretty sick and twisted individual who felt the need to inform me on something that I didn’t care about!
So please understand this from all of my blabbering….
- You are beautiful beyond words, and you are the most precious thing in this whole world.
- You deserve happiness and confidence and the chance to fully understand the depth and gravity of your beauty.
- Your imperfections are what make you absolutely spectacular and someone would adore to be in your shoes.
Love yourself. Do it. Because so many others around you do, and are just dying for you to see it for yourself.